I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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