I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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