i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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