yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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