how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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