I think I died a long time ago.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
