is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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