Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
