my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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