my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
