Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
