Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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