You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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