Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
