question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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