She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize