You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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