We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
