I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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