maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
