you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
