absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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