just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
