i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
