I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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