Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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