At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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