..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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