bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
