i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
