butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
