You're completely useless in the revolution.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
