YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
