Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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