let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
