i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
