I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
