Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
