theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
