My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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