but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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