Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
