I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
