i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
