Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
