When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
