I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
