now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
