True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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