Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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