Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
