NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Operation Purity has been aborted
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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