Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
