I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
